I haven't had many words lately either - but have definitely missed you and your voice! Thank you for reminding us of the beauty among the brokenness.
(Also, I need to know where in Florida your MIL lives - as my grandma resides there and is always begging me to come visit - so my fantasy is that it's the same part of that state and we can coordinate visit times!)
Thank you for including a little mention that Alzheimers can make a person more gentle and mellow. My husband is on the brink but all is well at the moment.
Thank you for the forthcoming 12 days of Christmas - less than 3 weeks before the start - really looking forward to it. Your thoughts are really thought provoking.
Gorgeous. I've experienced two grandparents (on my wife's side) with Alzheimer's. They left me with the impression that memory makes up personality makes up adults, so when memory goes so goes personality, and adults are then free to become childlike again. The juxtaposition of your mother-in-law and daughter resonates with that. May we all become like little children again, in one way or another.
Kelly, thank you so much! This is an interesting observation you made about Alzheimer. I also made an opposite observation that some aspects of personality come to the forefront which have been rather controlled before. Fortunately both of our mothers are getting sweeter and loosen some of the learned rigidity :-)
Yes, that part is a gift, when it happens, and when the true self shines through. But then Alzheimer is also eating that away. I often think about Kierkegaards concept of the self as relational and how this works with Alzheimer. Is it a loss of self in the end? Because associations dwindle? Is there a stable part of self which continues?
FWIW, my sense of it is that what Richard Rohr calls the big Self endures in the form of awareness, while the small self in the form of personality drifts away. The pain I've felt in relation to loved ones with Alzheimer's is located in my small self which feels the loss of their small self. But our big Selves are closer than ever. That is not much comfort to me though to the extent that I'm identified with my small self, and I tend to be very identified with it.
wow, this is interesting. I was not aware of Rohr's distinction here other than the first and the deeper self of the spiritual tradition. He might go a bit Jungian with the notion of the bigger self. Does he? So I am not sure how to understand the small self then. I think the deeper self is the one we are all are striving towards but it is also very much an embodied self which lives from awareness. I am afraid I see this self crumble in Alzheimer. The notion that there is this bigger self, almost like the spirit which is not embodied and thus does not suffer the pain and illness of the body is consoling here. But it also opens up more questions than answers for me.
Surely could make for an interesting conversation bringing the spiritual tradition together with some newer psychology of the self. Have you come across any of this?
So much here -- I love the image of being the daughter who lives in the phone... knowing that you are connected even when you can't hold hands.. I love the birds, the sea and the sand -- I try to find the sunrise each morning and the moon in the evening -- these are gifts that provide the grounding to help address the challenges of the day. Little ones -- remind us when we forget to look.
Anne, thank you so much for pointing this image out of being the daughter who lives in the phone. It is so interesting that my mother knows well to converse with me at the phone but gets confused when I stand in-front of her. She is sweet about it and we try to laugh it away. And still. We know. She knows deep inside that her memory is fading away.
You are so right about the grounding in the natural elements. Having a kindergartener helps me to see the sunrise also :-)
I rejoice that you are saved once again by sea and sand and birdsong and the presence of your holy little one. Sounds like an Incarnation miracle to me!
Almut, I was worried by your silence. Had the whirl of American politics and Christian nationalism and the determination of people to vote against their best interests been too much? And then, there you were with words of insight and grace and pictures to warm the heart. Thank you!
Wow! What an amazing photo of Little One drawing in the sand.
I haven't had many words lately either - but have definitely missed you and your voice! Thank you for reminding us of the beauty among the brokenness.
(Also, I need to know where in Florida your MIL lives - as my grandma resides there and is always begging me to come visit - so my fantasy is that it's the same part of that state and we can coordinate visit times!)
Thank you, dear Christine. And yes, that would be fantastic to walk the beach together :-)
Thank you for including a little mention that Alzheimers can make a person more gentle and mellow. My husband is on the brink but all is well at the moment.
Thank you for the forthcoming 12 days of Christmas - less than 3 weeks before the start - really looking forward to it. Your thoughts are really thought provoking.
Love Sally in South East England.
So glad you will be part of the journey, Sally. And so good to hear from you. Blessings to you and yours 🙏
I got lost in your photos and you reminded me "where to look," when I'm numb. Thank you, Almut.
What a beautiful compliment, Linda. I am so glad to hear that. Posting the pics helped me over my numbness also :-)
Gorgeous. I've experienced two grandparents (on my wife's side) with Alzheimer's. They left me with the impression that memory makes up personality makes up adults, so when memory goes so goes personality, and adults are then free to become childlike again. The juxtaposition of your mother-in-law and daughter resonates with that. May we all become like little children again, in one way or another.
Kelly, thank you so much! This is an interesting observation you made about Alzheimer. I also made an opposite observation that some aspects of personality come to the forefront which have been rather controlled before. Fortunately both of our mothers are getting sweeter and loosen some of the learned rigidity :-)
Ooh yes, I love that, the true self coming forward. 🙏
Yes, that part is a gift, when it happens, and when the true self shines through. But then Alzheimer is also eating that away. I often think about Kierkegaards concept of the self as relational and how this works with Alzheimer. Is it a loss of self in the end? Because associations dwindle? Is there a stable part of self which continues?
FWIW, my sense of it is that what Richard Rohr calls the big Self endures in the form of awareness, while the small self in the form of personality drifts away. The pain I've felt in relation to loved ones with Alzheimer's is located in my small self which feels the loss of their small self. But our big Selves are closer than ever. That is not much comfort to me though to the extent that I'm identified with my small self, and I tend to be very identified with it.
wow, this is interesting. I was not aware of Rohr's distinction here other than the first and the deeper self of the spiritual tradition. He might go a bit Jungian with the notion of the bigger self. Does he? So I am not sure how to understand the small self then. I think the deeper self is the one we are all are striving towards but it is also very much an embodied self which lives from awareness. I am afraid I see this self crumble in Alzheimer. The notion that there is this bigger self, almost like the spirit which is not embodied and thus does not suffer the pain and illness of the body is consoling here. But it also opens up more questions than answers for me.
Surely could make for an interesting conversation bringing the spiritual tradition together with some newer psychology of the self. Have you come across any of this?
Put most simply, he would probably describe the small self as the ego we created and the big self as the soul God created. How does that resonate?
So much here -- I love the image of being the daughter who lives in the phone... knowing that you are connected even when you can't hold hands.. I love the birds, the sea and the sand -- I try to find the sunrise each morning and the moon in the evening -- these are gifts that provide the grounding to help address the challenges of the day. Little ones -- remind us when we forget to look.
Anne, thank you so much for pointing this image out of being the daughter who lives in the phone. It is so interesting that my mother knows well to converse with me at the phone but gets confused when I stand in-front of her. She is sweet about it and we try to laugh it away. And still. We know. She knows deep inside that her memory is fading away.
You are so right about the grounding in the natural elements. Having a kindergartener helps me to see the sunrise also :-)
I rejoice that you are saved once again by sea and sand and birdsong and the presence of your holy little one. Sounds like an Incarnation miracle to me!
Thank you so much, dear Sue. Yes, the little one is a holy miracle always. Just like the nature which still surrounds us.
So glad to hear your voice again and to see what you see in your pictures.
Thank you, Donna. Good to hear from you also 🙏
Almut, I was worried by your silence. Had the whirl of American politics and Christian nationalism and the determination of people to vote against their best interests been too much? And then, there you were with words of insight and grace and pictures to warm the heart. Thank you!